Bishara Family Blog

Wow! It’s been a long time since I’ve managed to write an entry…but we’ve had a lot going on since the last entry. I’ll keep the update brief and promise to try to write more regularly now that I have a bit more free time with both Patrick and Alex in pre-school.

Since the last entry, we moved out of our rental house that we’d lived in for almost 3 years to another rental house in our neighborhood. We had arranged for another house closer to the beach (and the boys’ preschool), but were sad to leave the neighborhood just as we’d started to make some nice friends with kids our kids’ ages…so we moved about 7 houses up the street. The house is smaller, but we are so happy to be away from our previous owners and all of their problems, drama, lying, and pettyness. It’s really nice to live in a house that the owners don’t quibble about repairs for and that the repairs are done in a timely fashion without us having to “finance” them! The drive to school (about 17 miles) doesn’t take too long (about 20 minutes) from here, Mark’s commute doesn’t suffer at all, and we didn’t have to leave our friends or all of the conveniences of living where we do!

Patrick is in voluntary pre-Kindergarten every morning and loving it. He is starting to read, loves to write his name and do “homework.” He is a super good boy, and the teachers just love him. Although he was hesitant to not attend his other pre-school, he has adapted really quickly and easily, and has made lots of friends. His class this year is mostly boys…13 boys to 4 girls, whereas last year, it was 10 girls and 2 boys! Patrick played basketball this summer and t-ball this fall, and seems to be a natural athlete. He is such a good listener that he picks things up much more quickly than most of his peers. He was one of only a couple of kids on his t-ball team that hadn’t played before, and all the parents assumed by how well he did that he had been playing a while. Alex went to almost all the games, and is eager to play in the spring, too.

Alex has come a long way since our last entry…we finally got in to see the specialist we had been waiting on, and although we still don’t know exactly what bugs him, we are getting closer. It was so nice to get a doctor who is committed to figuring it out and not one who just shrugs it off as “I don’t know” and sends us on. Alex has endured a lot of blood and urine work this year, and each test tells us something different (as his doctor says, “his labs are ‘interesting.’”). He doesn’t even cry any more when he gets blood drawn, and that breaks our hearts. He knows the drill at the hospital, when we are driving the same way as the doctor’s office or hospital, and can differentiate all of his various doctors and what happens there. He is still allergic to peanuts, unfortunately, so we are probably going to be dealing with that for a few years (his sensitivity keeps worsening instead of improving as time and lack of exposure pass). Alex goes to school 3 mornings a week with 3- and 4-year-olds and has transitioned better than we had hoped. He still has issues with his behavior every now and then, but we are confident that once we get to the bottom of what bugs him, he will be the “happy, cooperative Alex” we have seen glimpses of periodically this year. He is done with so many “baby” things - diapers, his high chair, his crib, his rocking chair (Mark and I were more than happy to get rid of that glider since we had spent so much time in it!). He has grown up so much!!!

Well, Alex is waking up from his nap, so my blogging for today is done. We hope everyone is happy and healthy!

Until next time…

I’m not sure if anyone reads this any more, but since it’s been almost six months since the last post, I should fill in the blanks if only for journaling’s sake!

First for Alex…after the last post, we sleep-trained him once we knew his iron issues were resolved (or rather, not the cause of his restless sleep). He responded very quickly and very well, and now is an excellent sleeper who can settle himself back to sleep on his own most of the time when he wakes for a bad dream or something. The most he cried was an hour on the first day, and now a lot of the time, he sleeps better than Patrick (who now is going through a phase where he calls for us often and frequently during the night))! He has come such a long way, and now we know when he can’t or doesn’t sleep that something is definitely bothering him. He has had three bouts recently in which he gets a fever, won’t eat (which is VERY unusual for Alex, who seems to be eating constantly), can’t sleep (has trouble falling asleep and trouble going back to sleep if he wakes up), and is generally miserable with a lot of whining and moaning. At least one of the nights, he is up convulsing and heaving from the fever, but he never has any other symptoms like an ear infection or anything else. He loses a couple of pounds during these 4-5 day episodes, and then it takes him several weeks to gain it back…and then another episode comes. His pediatrician sent us to a behavioral psychologist, who did testing and observation of Alex, as well as had Mark and I fill out surveys and answer a lot of his questions, and he has referred us to a neurologist (because of our family history of mental illness on both sides of our family) and a geneticist (because there may be some other/yet another rare thing going on that may be obvious to a doctor like this once he hears Alex’s symptoms and reads his history). We see the neurologist on February 28 and the geneticist on April 28th, with daily calls to them to hope for a cancellation so we can get in sooner! The psychologist validated our concerns about Alex’s strange episodes, his drop off the weight curve (and inability to get his wait up despite the quantity and quality of food he eats), and believes that there is definitely something physical behind Alex’s erratic behavior…which is MUCH improved the last month or two.

The psychologist also did cognitive testing on Alex (during one of his fever episodes), and estimated that on a low level, Alex has the intellectual abilities of a 3.75-year-old (or basically, the equivalent of Patrick, who then must be like 5 or 6 since he is so obviously smarter than Alex!). Alex wouldn’t cooperate for the testing (the psychologist also said he is less cooperative than your average 2-year-old!), and I knew he knew a lot of the things he was getting wrong - he just wasn’t interested in doing the testing. Anyway, the psychologist recommended that Alex go to school, so we’ve been negotiating with Patrick’s school to let him “skip a grade” since he doesn’t meet the age cut-off for the class the doctor said he should be in. He attended a “practice” day yesterday at Patrick’s school and will go again tomorrow; hopefully, then they will decide whether he can be admitted into the 3-year-old room next fall (instead of the 2-year-old room he is “practicing” in this week and which he is supposed to be in based on his birthday). If not, I will have to hit the phones again trying to find a place that will take both of them (since I don’t want to drive around town in the fall - Patrick will go every day for Voluntary Pre-Kindergarten)! The psychologist also recommended that we find a babysitter, which we did…not anyone we ever would’ve expected, but it is working out so far. Nathan is a 21-year-old college student who has always worked with kids and has a lot of experience with “special needs” kids - Alex doesn’t necessarily fit that bill, but he is definitely not your average 2-year-old! The boys both love him, and Alex has done really well the few times he’s stayed with him (we hired him for Thursday mornings while Patrick is at school, and he watched Patrick while we were at a doctor’s appointment for Alex).

Our home is also now diaper-free for the first time in almost 4 years! Alex ditched his diapers about 10 days ago, and has done really, really well. He’s been dry every nap and every night, and now is having very sporadic little accidents (which usually happen when he’s fighting with Patrick!). It’s amazing how much stuff we had that was related to diapering…and now we have to repurpose our changing table! We are very proud of Alex and not surprised by his mastery of something new like this…and I haven’t had the extra help I had when we trained Patrick 18 months ago…so, I haven’t been able to give him the same attention. Patrick seemed to pick it up more quickly and not have any accidents, but Patrick didn’t have an antagonist in his daily life like Alex does, and Patrick was a month older when he got trained. We know that Patrick still has friends and classmates who still wear diapers at night, so we are super-proud of both of them!!!

Alex has become more social and friendly, and less fearful of strangers. He actively tries to engage people he sees now, which is cute. He has let other people put him to sleep, and Mark and I went on our first real date in almost 4 years a couple of weeks ago while my parents were here, since Alex let my mom put him to bed. They had a fun evening with Nana and Papa, but are now asking when they can go to the “restaurant where Daddy and you” went. We still have some work on table manners to do before that will happen! In short, Alex is a different kid than he was at Thanksgiving, and his behavior is getting better and better. He still has out-of-the-blue tantrums that seem to last longer than they should, can get very aggressive, andis often very inflexible and uncooperative about simple tasks. We hope the neurologist will give us more insight, but are hoping that it’s just a matter of “asynchronous development” - because of his bad sleeping, his brain didn’t develop at the same pace - his intellectual brain is advanced, but his emotional brain isn’t at the same level; so, although he may think like a 4-year-old, he still acts like a 2-year-old (or younger).

Patrick has handled all of the attention that Alex requires really well…although he is whinier than we’d like, he is generally a really good boy…and he always behaves well at school, which I hear is the real test of how a child is (if he acts out at home, that’s normal…if he acts out at school, too, that’s not!). He is eating more and more different foods, and is getting taller and heavier. He is almost too heavy for his baby car seat now. He is in soccer one night a week, and seems to love it. He does everything with such gusto, it’s fun to watch; he has such a love of life! He is super-friendly, and everyone seems to remember him when we’ve seen them at the park or out and about. He is becoming more and more independent, and loves to do things to take care of himself by himself. It’s hard to believe he’s going to be four years old in less than two months! Looking back at pictures of him from last spring, he has grown up so much, and looks like such a little man. Patrick’s had some modeling calls, and he is very poised when he meets new people, so even if nothing ever comes of his modeling career other than some gorgeous photographs of him, he is a more confident kid because of that!

Otherwise, things here are stable. I have been able to start exercising again now that Alex is a more reliable napper (and Patrick still naps for about 2 hours every day), and that has felt good. We will have to start looking for a new place to live soon, as our owners’ foreclosure stall tactics have just about expired (after 2 years!), but with the real estate market still not so great here, we are confident we can find something suitable for us and near all of our doctors, etc. Mark is planning a golf trip with his Michigan (Garland) buddies for the spring in Orlando, and I know he is looking forward to being with his friends and relaxing. I miss having friends…we have tried to connect with different people here, but everything seems one-way (from our side), so it makes me question if people are agreeing to things because they don’t want to be rude or cold. We are still waiting for someone to reach out and invite us to do something instead of us always being the inviters! Anyway, Facebook has become somewhat of a way to feel more connected to people, especially friends with whom I’d lost touch over the years…but it’s not the same as getting a phone call or regular e-mail from a friend!

I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to update, so until next time…

Well, a lot has gone on since the last entry more than two months ago. We did better than we were expecting with our travel process, as both Patrick and Alex were very good boys and handled all of the commotion involved with getting from home to our destinations very well. They both love to experience new things, so they ate everything up. It was great to get to spend time with a lot of family during our two big trips, and the boys enjoyed their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. After eight plane rides in less than a month, though, we were happy to try to get back to our normal routine here, whatever “normal” is!

Alex’s sleeping, although still very erratic, is mostly improved. He had a really rough stretch in July, but even that wasn’t as bad as his previous worst. His behavior had taken a turn for the worse all of a sudden, with biting, hitting, slapping, head-butting, kicking, and screaming, but that is much better now, too. The pediatrician said he is in his “terrible twos,” something Patrick never really had, so this is all new for us! He is getting really tall, and can no longer stand under the countertops without bonking his head (which means he is at least 35 inches tall!), and is outgrowing things really quickly now. His talking is nothing short of amazing, and now he’s even remembering Chinese, Spanish, and Japanese words he hears now and then (and even more amazingly, he remembers the context in which he learned the words!). He does so many things that he “shouldn’t be doing yet” like pretending, “reading” books, and using compound verbs and sentences. He recognizes emotion in situations/people’s faces, too, and has FINALLY become affectionate with us! The doctor also said that his behavior might be a result of boredom, so we are hoping that the weather cools quickly so we can go outside more, and are looking forward to the resumption of regular activities like Kindermusik and My Gym in September.

Patrick has enjoyed a few summer camps this summer, two at his pre-school and one at his modeling school. The trips and the camps have helped to break up the summer for us and him…summer here is like winter in the north, and Patrick wants to watch more TV and videos than I would like. Mark rigged his iPod to the TV speakers, so now we can listen to our music while we play, which helps to distract from the TV not being on. He loves to play with cars and trucks, and has gotten really good at shooting baskets (even one-handed) and kicking the soccer ball. He loves to be active, so he will really enjoy going back to the Gym again - this time to a class without parents.

Patrick’s eating has really improved in the past month. We thought he might be interested to try new things when he saw his cousins (especially the older ones who have a more varied diet) eating things, but his behavior just changed one Sautrday when he asked to try the Gyoza (potstickers) that Mark and I were having. Almost every day since then, he has tried new foods, most of which he has actually liked. Because he did that, we became the proud owners of an aquarium and three different types of goldfish: Nemo, Marlin, and Dory (Patrick loves “Finding Nemo”). Patrick’s improved eating caused him to gain a couple of pounds pretty quickly, and certainly made dinnertime easier for me - preparing one meal instead of two or three. And he did all of this on his own…none of the “tricks” that the parenting magazines suggest ever worked. He has been very motivated by wanting to get big and strong like some of the cousins he got to see this summer. We are obviously very pleased about this turn of events and proud of Patrick!

Patrick is looking forward to school again after Labor Day, and we all are looking forward to our first week-long vacation as a family since the Babymoon Mark and I took the November before Patrick was born (almost 4 years ago!). We are going to Hilton Head Island, where we were all supposed to go last year, but that was the middle of trying to figure out what was wrong with Alex. It’s a short drive for us, so the travel experience won’t be as strenuous as changing planes, etc. The boys have really become good swimmers, so they are excited to get to do it easily and often while we are on vacation. After all that Mark has had going on with the sale of his company and the transition to the new company, I think he will really appreciate the extended period of time off. Hopefully, he won’t have to do any work like he has had to do on all of our other trips thus far.

Well, Alex is at the 2-hour mark again today for his afternoon nap, so he may (or may not!) wake up soon, and I should wrap this up and put the computer away lest it become a casualty of curious boys who like to “work on the computer”! We hope everyone is doing well and enjoying summer!

Until next time…

It’s hard to believe it’s June already…and almost 3 months have passed since my last entry. Things have been very busy in many ways, and I’ll do my best to catch-up as quickly as possible since I still never know how much free time I’m going to have!

I’ll start with Alex, since he’s been the focus of so many ups and downs the past year…which is really when all of his problems surfaced. In early April, exactly 6 weeks after his surgery, he just started suddenly sleeping through the night, even while we were in South Carolina visiting my parents. He got off-track again while he was cutting some teeth, but has repeated a few times, even this past week while battling croup and an ear infection. He still has one tooth to go before his two-year molars, so we are hopeful that more consistent sleeping is in our future. Even when he doesn’t sleep all night now, he usually only wakes up once and goes right back to sleep. It’s a HUGE improvement over the way things were last year. There have been several nights when we’ve heard him awake in his bed, but he settles himself back to sleep without any intervention from us. We did learn that his iron levels are still very low, so his pediatrician has him on a supplement/iron therapy twice a day, and that may be the reason he is not as restless at night any more. We will keep the therapy up until early August at least, when he’ll have a complete blood panel and iron study. We are concerned that Alex has an absorption problem since he has a very iron-rich diet as it is, and his levels had been dropping instead of going up even though he was eating fortified foods more frequently and taking a vitamin with iron. He eats almost constantly, but still only weighs about 25 pounds. He is maintaining his percentile for weight and height, so he must be just getting taller instead of heavier!

Alex’s talking has really exploded and is simply amazing, not just to us, who hear it every day, but to everyone he comes across. His pediatrician was “blown away” by his talking and told us that never in her career has she ever heard an 18-month-old talk like Alex was talking at the time (he has just gotten more and more increcible in the past few weeks!). He answers questions, speaks in 5- to 6-word sentences, and talks more understandably and complexly than many of Patrick’s 3-year-old friends and classmates. He loves to sing songs, and can tell you the name of a song after only a couple of notes (too bad there is no “Baby Name That Tune” game show!). He also loves to read books, and can “read” all of his favorites by himself. He is a really smart boy…and we know that Patrick being so verbal, inquisitive, and in love with reading and singing only rubs off all the more on Alex!

Alex is such a busy little guy - rarely sitting still. The doctor said that might be one reason why he never seems to gain any weight despite his constant and substantial eating (pound for pound, he eats way more than Patrick does!) is that he is constantly moving. He definitely keeps us on our toes with his needs and wants!

Alex had developed quite a nasty temper and would throw tantrums on a dime; he was a lot of “Jekyll and Hyde,” and we never knew which Alex we were going to have and constantly tiptoed around things. He has gotten much better as his sleeping has improved and he’s grown up, but we still have issues when things don’t go exactly as he expects or wants. He knows how to make himself throw up, which is no fun for us, but we have to let him do it/go through that and not let him have his way all the time. The doctors suppose that perhaps that part of his brain (the part that handles coping) is not as developed as the rest of his brain, and that instead of developmental delays as would be totally common and not surprising with his terrible sleeping, Alex is instead a bit behind in his ability to cope and manage feelings in a constructive way. All in all, we are thankful and grateful that this is the problem we have to deal with and not his development physically or mentally.

Patrick is turning into a little man…he is so social and friendly, and loves to negotiate like his daddy. His vocabulary is also huge, and his teachers at school regularly told me how “amazing” he is (not many of his classmates are potty-trained yet or nearly as verbal). They tell me he is a sweet boy, so I am grateful he is on his best behavior at school since we often get frustrated with his inability to share, his roughness with Alex, or his sassing to us! His school had a year-end program last week which was really adorable…Patrick is such a performer. He has a fashion show on June 12 for his modeling class, so we are eager to see him in a different forum then, too…his photo shoot a couple of weeks ago went really well, and the agency director tells us how unusually smart he is for his age…he listens well and follows directions, which I guess isn’t typical. Since I don’t spend a lot of time with other kids the boys’ age, all I really have to go on is what I read and what people tell me!

Patrick has struggled with allergies this spring, and this last bout caused him a sinus infection which eventually turned into a likely ear infection that left his hearing affected. I went to the pediatrician 4 times in 6 days last week between Alex and Patrick (both of them the first visit, then two visits for Alex, and then one for Patrick). Luckily, he seems to be on the mend. His eating is still hit-or-miss, but we are working on it. The funniest thing is that he’ll tell us he doesn’t like things he’s never tried…to which he’ll respond that he ate it “when I was a little tiny baby.” So, Alex has his sleeping challenges, and Patrick has his eating challenges. There are times when Alex wants something Patrick has no intention of eating, but then Patrick will eat it simply because Alex wants it! I’ll take a little competition in eating if it gets Patrick to try new things! He is holding steady at 35 pounds, and is outgrowing clothes quickly, so I guess he is doing just fine in the eating and growing department!

Mark and I have been sick the past couple of weeks, too, so we are really hoping that June is kinder to us in the health department! We are all traveling to Ohio in just over two weeks for a family wedding, so we want to be 100% by then!! Mark has been very busy at work, as his company has just been sold (pending judiciary review and closing) to a large foreign defense contractor, and he’s been busy with filings and answering last-minute questions. He isn’t sure what will happen to his position, but losing his job and relocation are both possible, so we are glad we are just renting our house and have a lot of flexibility to move somewhere else should we want or need to do so! We want to get to Kansas City this summer to visit my sister and her family, but haven’t been able to find any good flights yet…and we want to see how the boys do in a couple of weeks with all of the traveling, which will really be a new experience for them. Patrick hasn’t flown since he was 8 months old, and Alex has never been on a plane. Until mid-May when I went to Washington, D.C. for my cousin, Steve’s, doctoral graduation from Catholic University, I hadn’t been on a plane since we flew with Patrick! The boys both like new things, so hopefully the trip will be more adventurous than tedious for them!

Well, I need to do some other things while the boys are both napping today…just wanted to reflect a little bit on the past few months before it all becomes a blur! The time sure does fly…until next time…

Well, it’s been a busy and interesting few weeks around here…things are a lot different here than the last time I blogged. I’ll start with the updates on Patrick, as he’s had a lot of change.

Patrick moved to the 3-year-old room at his previous pre-school at the beginning of February, and did really well with the transition. His teacher was one of his teachers from the previous class, and a lot of the kids were his previous classmates, so it was pretty easy for him…the big change was the size of the classroom was a lot smaller. His classmates all made him cute cards for his last day there, and his teacher was really sad to see him go, as she told me that Patrick was one of her favorites…we had to leave quickly, so nobody would cry! It made me feel good that Patrick is special to other people who aren’t related to him! His surgery was the next day, so it was a good natural break for him to recuperate before he started at his new, more traditional and Christian-based pre-school (as opposed to the day-care setting at his previous school). He has done well there in his first week, and seems to fit right in. He has only 8 other classmates and two teachers, so he gets a lot more one-on-one attention! Every day, he asks me, “Am I going to school today?” I guess that means he likes it!

Patrick did really well with his surgery…he loved the play area before hand, so he was very relaxed. The doctor said his tonsils and adenoids were “very substantial,” so we were hopeful that removing them would help him to sleep more quietly and peacefully. His biggest complaint about everything was the IVs and monitors attached to him…he wanted to be able to move about more freely, and was very upset when he couldn’t move across the hall in the recovery area to go see Alex (who went first). He also didn’t like to take the pain medication, but when we put it in a cup (versus the syringe), he seemed to do better with it. His snoring was really, really loud for about the first 10 days after surgery, and ever since, he’s been completely silent. He has resisted naps more lately, probably because he is getting more and better sleep at night! He moved to his toddler bed (his request - he wanted his mattress on the floor one afternoon for his nap, so that day, we converted his crib), and now is very proud to put himself down for his naps (after I make sure the toilet lid is unlocked and his toothbrush has tooth paste on it!). Some days, he still calls for me (”Mommy, where are you?”) to come and get him up and out, but other days, he comes charging out of his room. Patrick’s eating has gotten a lot better as his throat has healed, and he’s put back on the weight he had lost right before the surgery (when he had tonsillitis, and it probably hurt to swallow). He says his throat hurts “just a little bit it one tiny spot in the back,” which is an improvement to “it’s still pretty sore” that he was saying up until last week. I think we can declare Patrick’s surgery a success already!

Alex had a bit of a different experience, as would be expected due to his general health and age being a lot different than Patrick’s. Alex was first to go into surgery, and he didn’t cry as we expected when we had to hand him off to the operating room nurse (he had been very clingy prior to that). It seemed like forever that we were waiting (as Patrick played around and got progressively sleepy as the drugs they gave him to “take the edge off/reduce anxiety” started to kick in!), but the doctor finally came in to tell us that Alex was o.k. - his adenoid was “HUGE!” and his tonsils were also “very substantial,” so the ENT was confident that having those out of the way would make a huge improvement in his sleeping once he healed. I was so relieved to know that there was definitely something physical that was affecting his breathing, and thus his sleep. He also needed to have one of his ear tubes replaced, as it had entirely crusted over with wax. Alex had a really hard time recovering from the anesthesia and keeping anything down, and I was not smart enough to have brought several changes of clothes with me. The first time, in the recovery room, I got totally soaked with orange Gatorade, and the nurses were nice enough to get me some surgical scrubs to wear…the next time, we were already up in our (separate!) hospital room, and they were able to get me another pair of scrubs with a lot of scrounging and begging. The third time, I just had to wipe it off since I knew there would be no way I was getting anything new after the trouble with the second time! They gave Alex a lot of anti-nausea medication, and finally by the evening, he wasn’t vomiting any more. He slept most of the day (whereas Patrick was watching movies in his room (next door to us). Later in the evening, they moved us to a joint room so we could all sleep together. Alex did pretty well through the night, and started to eat enthusiastically the next day. We had a lot of help from my mom making sure everyone was drinking and getting their medications on schedule!

Alex was a lot slower to heal, it seemed, than Patrick. He got a terrible, terrible diaper rash from the preventative antibiotic that they had them on (even with me giving him the “Florastor” to restore the good bacteria in his digestive system)…he was going so often and hated to have his bottom touched (it was all blistered), and he could hardly walk. So, the doctor took him off of that since it was more important for him to get to feeling better (and he was so obviously feeling worse with all of the crying and whining) than to be on an antibiotic that was just given as a precaution. His breath would smell so badly from the scab in his mouth that we often thought he had dirtied his diaper! Finally, his breath is better and he is eating and drinking anything and everything with ease. His sleeping has not improved, but he no longer seems to have congestion or trouble breathing, so at least that “noise” is gone from his system. While he was in the operating room, we had his ferritin levels drawn on the orders of his sleep doctor, and we finally got those results last week…they revealed that Alex’s iron levels (even though he eats very, very well - including all kinds of foods which are high in iron) are very low, and that could be causing his restlessness at night (iron is necessary for the synthesis of dopamine, which helps sleep) - so a diagnosis of “Restless Leg Syndrome” (in children, it’s not always just the legs that are restless). We are hoping that once his iron levels get better, that will stop bothering him, as it was something that seemed to pop up in January, which led us to go back to the sleep doctor. His iron in August when he had all of his blood work done was just fine, so it is something that declined over time. We have him on a vitamin with iron as well as Cheerios for breakfast and other iron-rich foods. He loves red meat, so that hasn’t been a struggle to get him to eat…in fact, he seems to be eating non-stop!! As much as he eats, he should be catching up to Patrick (who is now over 32 pounds), but he for some reason, can’t break the 24 pound “barrier.” They are both getting taller, as we notice clothes they wear a lot don’t fit any more.

I have started trying to reduce the amount of “crutches” Alex gets to go to sleep at night by making him fall asleep in his crib. The first night I tried it last week, he stood up 7 times and did a lot of crying, but he eventually (after 45 minutes) did it. The next night, he did a lot of whining and crying, but only got up once, and the time to go to sleep was down to 30 minutes. The next night, he did it in 5 minutes with just a little whining and no getting up, and last night, he did it in 5 with no whining or getting up, and very little physical contact with me (I have been trying to reduce the amount of touching I do (rubbing or holding his hand)). Mark is away again this week, so hopefully I can keep up the good progress while here on my own (unfortunately, I have to use the TV as a “babysitter” for Patrick while I put Alex to sleep when Mark is gone, which I hate, but luckily, Patrick stays out of trouble!). He slept for almost 2 hours at his first stretch last night while settling himself down a few times, and that beat his previous long first stretch lately by about an hour! After that, though, things were very strange…he was very, very restless and crying a lot, and took a long time to settle down, even with all of his crutches! His 12th tooth FINALLY popped through (his last tooth had come in over 8 weeks prior, and he had been getting them every couple of weeks), so hopefully that will make him more comfortable. He was walking around yesterday telling me, “hurt, hurt,” but was unable to tell me what hurt him. When Mark is going to be around for a while, we are going to try more aggressive sleep training, and should know within a few days if it is working or whether or not the Restless Legs issue will continue to bother him.

Alex’s talking has just exploded, and he is now talking like a 2-year-old at 16 months. He puts together several multiple-word sentences, the sweetest of which is “I wuv you.” He has an amazing ability to connect things he’s heard with things he’s known or learned in the past, which tells us he REALLY understands and isn’t just uttering or repeating. He is already using manners (”a, pease” for “yes, please” just like Patrick used to do), and can tell us what he wants (which seems to be mostly related to food!). One of the moms of one of Patrick’s friends is just amazed at his talking, as he talks just as well as her almost 3-year-old little girl!! Alex is a very sweet little guy, who now looks even bigger after his first hair cut!!

Well, he is awake from his nap, which he is taking today (he hasn’t been napping consistently in the morning), so I better go get him. Until next time…whenever that is…free time is not very abundant these days!

Happy New Year!!! Since a lot has happened in the last several weeks/couple of months since I last wrote the blog, I thought I’d take the opportunity to get it all down and perhaps have a little bit of a stress reliever/emotional outlet that I could sure use! I actually started to write this on Sunday, but Alex’s nap was short, and I didn’t get much time.

Well, we started 2010 healthier than 2009…but only by a little. By this time last year, I already had strep throat and a chronic cough I didn’t end up shaking for several months…so far, just a few sniffles this year! We ended 2009 with all of us being sick (over Thanksgiving while we had a house-full!)…first Patrick picked up a couple of viruses at school, which he passed along to me and then Mark, and then Alex got pneumonia from what we guess was our bronchitis (and then also a sinus infection for me)…thankfully, a few shots of antibiotics and visits to the pediatrician during their “sick only appointments on the weekend” kept Alex out of the hospital. Patrick got a stomach bug between Christmas and New Year’s, which he passed to me, but not as badly as he had it. He picked up a cold last week, and has passed it to me, Alex, and now Mark. Poor Alex just can’t seem to catch a break…everything seems to affect him a lot harder than the rest of us. His sleeping had already taken a turn for the worse, and now he’s got this piling on!

Our big news is that both Alex and Patrick will have their tonsils and adenoids surgically removed on February 17th. We are just really hoping that the apnea is THE reason that Alex doesn’t sleep well, and not just another “interesting, but irrelevant and unrelated” diagnosis. Luckily, having no tonsils or adenoids won’t hurt him, so at least it will keep him from getting or at least making less likely a lot of respiratory infections. My mom is coming down to help us since both boys will have to stay at least overnight in the hospital, and we will need to lay low for a week, and with only light duty activities for at least two weeks.

Patrick has been eating a lot better since the first of the year - interested in trying new things, eating a larger quantity, and eating better balanced meals. As a result, he’s gained almost 3 pounds since New Year’s Day. Alex, too, has been able to put on a couple of pounds (and keep them on) - he was stuck on 22 pounds for months!! Patrick has clearly gotten taller - he’s now able to stand up to go potty, and is so proud he can do that all by himself (which is a big help to me much of the time!). Alex is also very tall…I notice from week to week that I don’t have to roll pants up so he doesn’t step on the cuffs. We’ll see how big both of them are on February 11th, when we go for Alex’s 15 month well-check and both of their pre-surgery physicals.

Mark and I are so pleased that Alex’s development doesn’t seem to have been negatively impacted yet by his terrible sleeping…he is talking up a storm and seems so smart. He knows at least 100 words really well, is very good at mimicing/repeating, and can correctly name a few body parts and what sounds certain animals make. He already strings together multiple words: “bess you” when someone sneezes (even when there’s nobody else here to say it first!), “all done,” “I dropped it,” “open it,” “want some,” etc. Our ability to understand what he wants and needs has improved dramatically! Patrick is also still very amazing with his talking. He carries on very normal and lengthy conversations (pretend or otherwise), and demonstrates an incredible grasp for how things should go in a conversation (waiting for replies, replying, etc.), using such segues as “actually,” etc. He is a hoot!

We had company for Thanksgiving and Christmas and a couple of days after, and I’ll bet that every one of those visitors would be amazed at the differences now in Patrick in Alex in just that short period of time. I think they both have changed more in the past month than they had for quite some time! We hope it won’t be too long before those who haven’t seen them in a long time see them again.

Well, Patrick is waking up from a too-short nap, so I better close…this is at least the 4th time I’ve sat down to write this, so I should quit while I’m ahead!

Until next time…

I think this is going to be my last post for a while…although I enjoy reflecting on what’s been going on and preserving it for posterity, it has started to feel like an obligation these days with all that’s going on, and I really don’t need any more obligations! I really have so little spare time and am so behind on other things that I need to refocus on doing some of those things and making more time for myself. Also, I started it as a tool to stay in touch with people, and it just seems too one-sided (from my side - like I’m a conversation hog!) now. I’ll be happy to communicate with people directly over e-mail or over the phone if you’re interested in knowing how we’re doing/what’s going on…I think both Mark and I would appreciate knowing who’s thinking about us and to have people check in on us in a more concrete and obvious way. I’m not sure how many people actually read this, so maybe my hiatus won’t really even bother anyone!

Well, since the last entry, we had a nice long visit from Nana and Papa, who came early for Alex’s birthday so that Mark could go to Mobile for a night. The boys loved having extra attention, and I sure appreciated the extra hands. Patrick reluctantly went to school on the couple of days he had it while they were here, and was very upset on Thursday when only I came to pick him up! Nana and Papa helped me muscle through Alex’s one-year pictures, which was a huge help…check out Alex’s web page to see some of the few good shots we were able to get…he really doesn’t enjoy getting his picture taken! We were able to get some nice ones, so that was a relief. Next time we get pictures in a couple of weeks, we’ll all be in the pictures, so hopefully that will be easier on Alex…he wanted me to hold him all the time, so it was a challenge to get him to let go AND smile! On Friday morning (Alex’s birthday), we took him to the doctor to hear the results of his sleep study…the results were “surprising” (another one!). Alex has obstructive sleep apnea…a normal number of apnea episodes for an infant/child his age is less than one per hour, and Alex had four episodes per hour. He had several episodes when his carbon dioxide levels were too high, but not enough episodes to call it a disorder or disease; he also had several episodes where his oxygen levels were too low, but not enough episodes to call it a disorder or disease. He also didn’t have a normal percentage of REM/non-REM sleep, which didn’t surprise us. And, Alex has “Associative Sleep Disorder” (which we knew and were not surprised to hear) - basically he requires too many things (holding, rocking, touching, etc.) to fall and stay asleep. We think we can easily fix that problem once we are confident that his other problems are corrected; we are happy to have an answer on his sleeping, but we still aren’t convinced it is THE final answer, and are waiting to get the evaluation of the pediatric allergist. We can’t start the medication that the sleep doctor prescribed (to help shrink his tonsils and adenoids, which is what seems to be causing the obstruction) until after his allergy tests, so we will keep on keeping on like we have been until then. Patrick is on one of the medications (a nasal steroid) since he has always snored (Alex doesn’t snore much, so that is one of the reasons the diagnosis is a “surprise” - also, because it’s (again) very uncommon in children his age), and he’s done well with it, so hopefully the same will be true for Alex. So, since we have to wait on the medications, we are going to wait on the training, as well…since we hope the medications will make it easier for Alex to sleep for longer periods of time, the training will be less traumatic for all of us if we don’t have to do it all night long! We hope the medications work, too, because Alex is too small/young for surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids, and that is really the only other effective treatment. And treatment is vital because apnea can cause all kinds of serious long-term effects like delayed learning and development, behavior problems, heart problems, and obesity. From our understanding, this is one of the diseases pediatricians most often overlook/miss, so Alex is giving the doctors yet another lesson in diagnosis and “considering all possibilities…even the supposedly impossible”! Alex will have to have another sleep study in 6 months; although we don’t look forward to that, we are happy to have the ear and attention of a doctor who won’t let this go and will keep close tabs on him!

Grandma and Grandpa arrived on Friday afternoon, so Alex got to spend his birthday with all of his grandparents. The weather was very warm here, so we spent a good bit of time outside…Alex seems most happy/least grumpy when he is outside! We had his party on Saturday (Halloween) at lunch time, but he didn’t seem to enjoy it…he cried at his cake and the singing, and just seemed to want all of the fuss and noise to stop. Patrick really enjoyed opening up and playing with all of Alex’s presents, and Alex was happy with the envelopes, wrapping paper, and boxes! I forgot to videotape all of the party festivities, but now I think God was telling me not to tape it…we wouldn’t want all of Alex’s fussing and crying preserved forever! We were able to get some pictures of him not doing those things with his cake and his candle, and watching us sing to him.

In the afternoon, Mark carved a jack-o-lantern with the boys, and we all enjoyed getting ready for trick-or-treating. Patrick actually loved to wear his costume, and would’veworn it longer had it not been so darn hot! It was still really warm in the dark, so after going to a few houses to say “trick-or-treat” and “thank you,” he changed into some summer jammies and sat on the porch handing out candy to the other kids. He even told some of them “what do you say?” when they didn’t say “thank you” after getting candy!! We LOVE Patrick’s awesome manners!! Alex went around in the stroller in his costume, but he also seemed uncomfortably warm in it…it barely fit him (it was too small for Patrick last year, and he was 7 months older than Alex when he wore it!), and he didn’t like having a hood on his head (it’s a good thing we don’t live up North!). It was a busy and full day…and we had that extra hour!

Things have gotten back to “normal” here - it’s cooled off a bit, so we’re able to go outside…that is when we’re able to go to the park and don’t have to stay home because of a punishment. Patrick bit someone at school yesterday (I knew that he was going to learn that from that kid who constantly bit him at school!!), so we didn’t go yesterday…we stayed inside and played, and it was really nice anyway! Patrick is amazing at understanding people’s feelings/emotions…the other night when he was stalling to get ready for bed, I had a frustrated look on my face…he said, “Mommy, you’re frustrated because I’m not cooperating?” When I picked him up and learned about the biting incident yesterday, I was SO mad, and he could tell. He said, “You’re upset with me, Mommy?” He has an AMAZING vocabulary and grasp of what’s going on. And if there’s ever a doubt that he’s not paying attention or always listening even when it seems like he’s not, he told me yesterday, “I don’t feel so good. I need a sleep study. I better go see Dr. Kakkar.” How funny is that?? Luckily, I think Patrick’s snoring and sleep apnea are so obvious that we wouldn’t need to put him through that!

Well, Alex is awake from too short of a nap, so I need to close. Until next time…whenever that is…

Well, it’s been an eventful week for all of us, and a long one at that. Mark is back with Alex trying to get him to nap (for the third time - he woke up very early this morning, so he took his morning nap at 7:30AM (two hours earlier than usual), slept in the car for about an hour while we were running errands at lunch time, and now seems ready for another little rest, which Mark could sure also use) and Patrick is napping, as well. I know I don’t get many opportunities to write and reflect when I don’t also have something else that needs to get done, so I’m going to seize this opportunity while I have it.

Since I last blogged, we learned that the biter in Patrick’s class was “kicked out” of the school due to his behavior, which was a relief, since we neither wanted to jeopardize Patrick’s health and emotional well-being because of the repetitive incidents nor wanted him to pick up the bad habit when he gets frustrated. Patrick seemed happy to know that the boy would not be able to hurt him any more, but he continued to talk about it, and for the first time ever, was tentative with my dropping him off both days he went to school this week. Never before has he cared much when I leave to go home because he’s always already playing with his friends or joining in with whatever his classmates happen to be doing, but this week, he was very clingy and “Mommy, stay with me. Stay and play with me. Don’t go home. I don’t want you to leave.” He didn’t cry when I left, and had good days both days, so hopefully this behavior is short-lived. His regular teacher is also back at work now after a couple of weeks off, so hopefully that will help things return to normal there for him, too.

Patrick has been very in tune with people’s feelings lately, which I think is advanced for his age. He often says things like “I made you happy!” when he shares or does something good, or knows when we are upset or mad. If we get an owie or something, he will come running up wanting to kiss it (and also to put a Spiderman band-aid on it!), and caresses our cheeks and says, “Awww…it’s alright, sweetheart.” It’s really precious. Also, he will just so often “out of the blue,” say things like, “I love you SOOOO much, Mommy” or “you’re my best friend, Mommy.” When we’re having a rough day, Patrick’s good spirits so often lift us up and make us proud of the sensitive and sweet boy that he is. That’s not to say he doesn’t have his trying moments…he is trying to exert his will and control over many more things these days, and has gotten pretty skilled at stalling when he doesn’t want to do something. We know to give him a choice for what he wants to eat (even if the selection of things is the limited things he will actually eat) or wear every day! He really is a good boy most of the time, and when he is trying, it’s probably because we have come to expect so much of him since he’s so communicative and smart that we forget he’s only two-and-a-half.

Alex had a really rough week…he still (for about a month now) has a cough which often wakes him up at night - like he needs another thing to wake him up! We went to Gainesville on Tuesday for his sleep study at the University of Florida’s Sleep Center, and tried to make a fun trip out of it for all of us (none of us had ever been to Gainesville, and it’s the first time I’d been outside of Jacksonville except to go to Aiken once and to take quick trips to Hilton Head/Savannah a couple of times). Patrick had been asking to eat at “the chili pepper store” (Chili’s), so we worked on good restaurant manners/behavior for a week or so before hand, and he was really excited about that (even though he didn’t end up eating what he ordered (not surprisingly!)). He was really excited to stay at a hotel, since the last time was when we moved to Jacksonville, and he probably didn’t remember that experience because of everything else going on. Unfortunately, the pool water was too cold for us to go swimming, but we had a fun time out on the deck anyway.

Alex’s sleep study was very involved, and very, very rough on him…but he was a really good and tough boy like he’s been for all of the surgeries (four - his original circumcision, his re-do circumcision, his ear tubes, and his endoscopy) and invasive procedures (two - the Upper GI and now the sleep study) he’s been through. He had like 30 different wires coming out of his body, many which were uncomfortable and bothersome for him (especially the ones near his eyes and in his nose), and his head was wrapped in gauze like he was a mummy. It took over an hour to get him all hooked up to the sensors and monitors, by which time he was completely exhausted. He cried so hard two different times that he threw up in my hands (we’ve gotten good at knowing when he’s going to do that!), but he finally settled down after a couple of hours enough that he could sleep in the crib for about an hour. Then, he was awake for a good long time and was very sensitive to any disturbance (of which there were many - sensors would need adjusting, inserting, etc., and that would wake him up and upset him), and wouldn’t lay down. They had to come in and tell me that unless I could get him to lay down (so they could monitor his unassisted breathing - any change in position like being propped or held would not give them a good and accurate read on his breathing patterns), the study would not be valuable. We didn’t go all that way and wait all that time for a meaningless and traumatic study, so I was finally able to get him to lay down in the regular bed with me, and he slept mostly undisturbed for a few hours. I had no idea of the time since there was no clock in the room, and I couldn’t see my watch, so I was surprised when they called through the intercom when Alex woke up abruptly that it was just before 6AM, and they could end the study. It took a good while to get all of the sensors off, and then Mark had to bathe him really well and wash his hair several times to get all of the adhesive off his skin and out of his hair. Alex took a really good nap in the car on the way home, as I know he was completely spent after all of that. The tech said that they noticed some “snorts” in Alex’s breathing pattern that could be causing his wake-ups and difficulties, but we know not to put much stock in what they say until we hear the official doctor’s report, which we can hopefully get soon…I called his doctor here to see when we might hear something, and his staff said that he might be able to get them to put a rush on it. I was really glad that we didn’t do the study here in Jacksonville, since the center here had never done one on a child, and getting Alex all hooked up may have taken several hours if they weren’t experienced with doing infants, if we had even been able to get any good data from it at all. The center we visited does at least 5 (out of 10) pediatric patients a night, and people go there from all over north Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina because of their experience and expertise. Once again, my gut instincts prevailed!

Alex got really congested again on Wednesday, and his cough had not improved, so since it had been more than a week since his last pediatrician visit (she told us to come back in a week if the cough wasn’t gone), and I was concerned that since the cough was deeper/harder than before, it was something more serious than upper respiratory drainage, I took him back to the doctor…which was a total ZOO with people wanting to get flu shots. Luckily, they got us in very quickly, the doctor saw us right away, and he diagnosed Alex with a sinus infection…the poor kid cannot seem to catch a break (and that is empathy, not negativity as some people in our lives seemed confused by when we say that - we think we are allowed to feel bad for Alex and all that he’s been through and ache for him when he’s sick and uncomfortable - he hasn’t had too many weeks in his life when he hasn’t been sick with something or other). His congestion color turned from clear on Wednesday to green on Thursday, so I was really glad that I didn’t wait until Thursday to call and get him in…he is still congested a good bit, but the antibiotic seems to be helping his cough. We can tell that he’s really bothered by something, though, as he’s more whiny and fussy (and clingy) than he has been lately. Mark thinks he saw tooth #6 this afternoon, so maybe that’s contributing to things, as well. Alex hasn’t been eating as much the past few days, and when he does seem to be eating, he’s chewing and spitting out and not swallowing. His throat might be sore from all of the congestion and coughing (and we know he has big tonsils, so maybe those are hurting him, too). He is still pretty willing to try new things, and has said a couple of new words (foods, of course!) this past week: “pepper” (as in “green pepper”) and “cheese” (even though he can’t eat cheese). He has a few favorite foods (noodles, rice, cereal, strawberries, cookies), but is generally pretty good about trying things that we put on his tray. He HATES to be fed (for the most part), and has started to grab his spoon and try to put it in his mouth himself.

We have a big week this week…my parents are coming on Tuesday evening since Mark will be going to Mobile for a night, and we’re getting Alex’s one-year pictures taken on Thursday morning while Patrick is at school, since the last times we’ve tried to do pictures with Patrick in attendance were a bit hectic and rushed…and Alex picks up on Patrick’s behavior and gets fussy. Alex hasn’t had any pictures taken with just himself since his 6-month pictures, so we are excited to have some new ones of him, and hope he enjoys it and cooperates! Mark’s parents arrive on Friday afternoon, and we plan to do Alex’s little birthday party on Saturday at lunch time, since that’s usually his happiest time, and then we won’t interfere at all with Halloween preparations and festivities. I need to make Alex a milk-free cake, but I ordered a regular cake for the photos and candle-blowing (and for the rest of us to eat in case the football-shaped cake isn’t any good!), so that will be fun…should be easier if I have some help from Nana and Papa in entertaining the boys.

Well, it’s about time for Patrick to get up from his nap, lest it mess up bedtime, so I will close. I will try to update the family website with Alex’s new pictures if I get a chance before too long.

Until next time…

Well, it’s been a crazy week, and I think maybe some writing/reflecting would be therapeutic…hopefully the nappers will comply.

I had a nice birthday on Monday, but not without some unusual circumstances…but then again, taking Alex to the doctor isn’t really that unusual for me these days. Barely a week goes by when he’s not there for something! He has had a cough and growly breathing for almost two weeks now, but since his nasal congestion was gone, I wanted to make sure it hadn’t settled in his chest. The doctor said it was just upper respiratory congestion and nothing to worry about unless he develops a fever. It does wake him up, and we know he doesn’t need anything else waking him up these days, so I wanted to be sure. He had been napping really well last week, but this week has been another story. We were optimistic that the switch from Lactaid whole milk to soy milk might help, but all that seemed to accomplish was an increase in the stink and frequency of his dirty diapers…so we’re back to Lactaid again so his weight can get back up (while he was on the soy, he lost weight and stopped gaining at the nice little clip he had after he got off regular milk and my breast milk), and we’ll search for another potential cause of his irritation. Anyway, I got lots of wishes for my birthday, and was regaled by Patrick’s wonderful singing…and his constant request for him to play with the “truck” he got me as a gift, even before I got to open it (in case anyone was wondering, 2-and-a-half-year-olds can’t keep secrets!). We went to Chik-fil-a for dinner - my choice (I got a lot of puzzled questions when I told them where we were going - no romantic dinner with Mark?? We would love that, but that seems so far away from the realm of possibilities these days), because everyone is happy there, and our last attempt to eat at a normal restaurant was something of a debacle.

Well, I started this several hours ago, but Alex didn’t cooperate again with a really short nap, so I’ll give an abbreviated version now since I suspect I’ll have Patrick running in here shortly after his bath. Patrick had a rough week at school…he was bitten pretty badly on Tuesday by another child who has bitten him before, so I had many conversations with them about how they were going to handle it. Patrick got a fever that afternoon (not sure if it was from the bite or from the fever flu that Mark got on Tuesday morning and that kept him home from work, and it lasted until the next morning, so he had to stay home from school on Wednesday (the day Mark left for a couple of days in Mobile)). He cried all day at school on Thursday, which is very unusual for him…the teachers said he kept saying he wanted me, and Patrick told me several times out of the blue that he cried for me at school, and upon further probing revealed that he got bit in the head. Mark saw the bite mark today, and Patrick provided more and more details - enough to convince us that he wasn’t making that up. So, I called the school again to let them know (since an incident report was never created - probably because the teacher didn’t see it…and thus was confused by Patrick’s unusual crying and whining)…and they informed me that the biter will not be returning to school (Patrick isn’t the only child he’s bitten, and the school got tough on the parents this week such that it made it a hardship for them and they needed to find other arrangements). Patrick was relieved to hear that, and hopefully that means he will sleep more peacefully tonight (he was calling out and yelling all night last night).

Mark was gone a couple of days this week, and it was a really long week all-around. Alex’s sleeping still isn’t any better, and we are thinking now that he is allergic to something…what we just don’t know. He is very whiny, cries what seems like all the time, doesn’t sleep well during the day even any more, and is very clingy. My wrist is getting sore again, especially as Alex gains weight and wants to be held more and more. Being the sole caretaker for a couple of days was draining under these circumstances, and I feel like my already thin patience is becoming ematiated! Just when I don’t think I can take any more of it, Alex will do something really sweet…like say “pepper” when we asked him if he wanted to try one from our supper (of course he did…he’ll eat just about anything!). Luckily, it’s the weekend, and Mark is around to carry some of the load. We are hoping Tuesday night’s sleep study will reveal something to the doctors that will help all of us, and that it won’t take too long to get the results. The allergist appointment isn’t until November 17th, unless we get lucky and there is a cancellation. We are still just mystified by Alex’s behavior, and that just adds to our frustration.

Well, bathtime is over and since Alex didn’t take a good nap this afternoon, he’s ready for bed. We are looking forward to his birthday weekend at the end of the month and having both sets of grandparents here. Our anniversary is this week (4 years!), and although we won’t be going out to a fancy dinner or on any kind of date, we celebrate each other and the great team that we are every day. We will have our chance when the boys don’t have so many needs, and we know we’ll look back on this time as so fleeting…and that we’ll long for the day when our boys want us to hold them! And we know we are really lucky - many of our friends and are suffering…my friend Barb lost her mother and her dog within a couple of weeks; my friend Judy is battling lung cancer; and my aunt Mary is enduring another round of chemo therapy. We know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, although sometimes it doesn’t seem like we handle what He gives us very well. I keep telling myself the “Power of Positive Thinking” mantra: “I can do all things through Christ that strengthen me.”

Until next time…

I can’t believe it’s been almost 6 weeks since the last blog posting, but I guess that seems about right…things have been very busy and hectic since then, with little or no time to do much of anything besides take care of my family and maintain as much a sense of normalcy as possible…so writing the blog has not exactly bubbled up to the top of my list of things to do when I do have spare time. I think most everyone who reads this knows by now what has been going on with us and can understand why I haven’t made the blog a priority. So, I will try to focus this entry on new things that the few people who read this may not know yet.

I’ll start with Patrick…in the last several weeks, he has started eating much better. We don’t know if it’s just that he’s growing up, or if he’s got a better appetite now that he’s not snoring so much (thanks to a nasal steroid prescribed by his ENT doctor to hopefully avoid removal of his tonsils and adenoids for a while) and is thus sleeping better, or if he’s bowing to “peer pressure” at school, where they serve a hot lunch every day. For the first 4 weeks of the lunch, Patrick refused to even try anything - even things that he likes. Then one day, he tried some bread. The next day, he ate more…and now, he’s eating his lunch every day…and eating some of the same things (like green beans) that they serve at school at home. It probably helps that Alex will eat just about anything, so we have more “options” for him. Patrick still doesn’t eat any of the meat at school, and the only meat he eats for us is hot dogs and chicken nuggets, but we’re optimistic that the trend will continue.

Patrick continues to do really well at school, and every week, we receive more and more art work that they’ve done in his class. Luckily, all the paints they use usually wash off in the laundry! His teachers tell me every week that they are “so proud” of him, and since a biting incident a few weeks ago, I’ve not even received a report that Patrick has snatched a toy or been rough with any of his classmates, which are up to a much bigger number now that school has started here in Jacksonville (they are up to 20, I think). The teachers report that Patrick quotes everything they say (announcing directions even before they do/repeating the rules). He is supposed to be evaluated on how he is doing with their little curriculum this week, so we will be eager to hear what his teachers have to say. We do know that he is one of only a few in his class that is completely potty-trained, and that’s the minimum requirement to move up to the next class.

Patrick also “graduated” from his Infant Swimming Resource lessons, even doing his swim-rollback to float-swim sequences fully clothed in winter clothing. I have a video of it, but it’s too large to send via e-mail or put onto a CD, but it is really incredible. He’ll take a refresher course in the spring, and hopefully by then, Alex will be able to do the same lessons Patrick did this summer.

We are hoping that the hot and humid weather will break soon so that we can get back outside and going to the park again on a regular basis in the afternoons. We get so tired of being in the house!

Now to Alex…we thought we had THE answer about what has been bothering him and making him unable to sleep, but now we are thinking we have AN answer, not THE answer. The lactose intolerance that he has been diagnosed with doesn’t seem to be the thing that makes him unable to sleep…he is much less gassy and doesn’t pull his legs up so much when he sleeps now that he’s been completely dairy free for almost 6 days, but he is still so disturbed and restless most of the night, and now even his naps are suffering. We were dreading putting him through a sleep study, but now we think that it’s completely necessary to get to the bottom of why he can’t sleep. Hopefully we can get it scheduled soon so that we can keep the ball rolling. Our pediatrician has been very supportive and committed to finding out what is the matter, and after the lactose intolerance diagnosis (which we were told is a “one in a million” chance of a baby having and that was dismissed by her months ago as a potential cause), so that’s been validating and reassuring. She calls to talk to me directly, and personally returns my calls now when I need to speak to her; the sleep doctor is also very accessible, so I’m hoping that between the two of them, we can get this scheduled quickly.

Alex is walking now…he is much more “Frankenstieny” than Patrick was when he started, but he is a good 4 months younger than when Patrick walked. He is very proud of himself when he can get from point A to point B, and if he can’t do it, he’s o.k. to plop down and start crawling. Patrick cheers him on and lets us know when he’s done it - it’s very cute. As a result of Alex’s new mobility, he tends to get into things more than Patrick would like; sometimes, sharing is easy for him, but others, it’s not. He is very possessive of his things, and wants to play with whatever Alex has, even if it’s not his (”if I can’t have it, nobody can” kind of attitude). As Alex continues to move around and get stronger, he’ll be able to hold his own with Patrick without too much help from us!

Alex is talking now, too…his first word was “cracker” (we were not at all shocked that it was a food that was his first word). He also says “mama” and “up” and seems to connect the meanings. We know he understands a lot more than he can say, as he will spit his pacifier out when we talk about food or beverage, or when we go to the refrigerator. It’s pretty funny.

Alex is the good eater, and Patrick is the good sleeper as of now. Alex’s sleeping just seems to get worse and worse, even though Mark and I have come up with better ways of coping. Today, to get him to go down for his afternoon nap, Mark had to drive him around, and even though he was tired and asleep in my arms a couple different times before they left, it took him over an hour to fall asleep for a long stretch. We are just baffled by his behavior, and we try all different kinds of things to improve the situation, to no avail. While they were gone, I even deep vacuumed his room and rearranged the furniture, so his head won’t be facing north any more (bad luck in Japanese/Buddhist belief)…we’ll try anything!! I know this is all part of God’s plan…I can tell that He’s used Alex as an example for the doctors to not rule anything out and to not rush to judgment without all of the facts. They hopefully have learned from him and us!

Mark has been amazing through all of this; he spends most nights on his floor in his room, so we don’t get to spend all that much time together any more. Luckily, his job is flexible, and we meet for lunch on the days when Patrick isn’t at school to get us out and to spending more time together; he’s been able to come to a lot of Alex’s appointments, too. In his previous life in the auto industry, things would be way more stressful for all of us because he wouldn’t have the flexibility, probably would travel a lot more, and wouldn’t be able to break away for doctors’ appointments. Our pediatrician was very complimentary to us last week, telling us that we both look wonderful for not getting any sleep and that she can tell we’re committed to the family and each other. We told her that this might bring out the worst in most people and tear them apart, but it’s brought out the best in us and made us stronger and more “together” (if that’s even possible). I am very blessed to have such an incredible husband and father for my boys.

Well, I started this hours ago when Patrick was sleeping and Mark and Alex were “on the road,” and now it’s bathtime, so I will close for now and endeavor to write more frequently in the days ahead…it’s kind of therapeutic! Until next time…whenever that is…